Me? Defend Ann Coulter? Unthinkable?

            I’m a simple guy.  I like soccer.  I enjoyed watching the World Cup.  Unbeknownst to me,  Ann Coulter doubled down on her stupid and humorless piece about soccer.  She claims “The massive and hysterical response to my jovial sports piece proves how right I was.”  Speaking only for myself, what it proved to me was Ann Coulter doesn’t really understand satire, and isn’t funny.

            In her defense, though, the kind of ridiculous nonsense that passes for commentary about her is mind boggling.  Apparently people think that using profanity, making references to various sexual matters, and otherwise belittling Ann Coulter makes for a response to her twittiness.  No, all that does is confirm that most people have no idea how to make a reasonable, or logical, argument.  Whatever else Ms. Coulter lacks (knowledge or understanding of soccer, obviously), she doesn’t deserve trashing.

            I have on two other occasions used my modest blog to excoriate Ms. Coulter for her severe lack of winsomeness.  Frankly, her commentary grates me because of its caustic nature.  But she doesn’t use profanity; she doesn’t make arguments without offering some sort of rationale; and she actually strings together sentences in a way that makes sense.  Little of this can be said for many of her detractors.

        When you dislike something someone says, you have to offer more than shouting them down, right?  You can’t just throw out epithets, right?  I mean you ought to have something sensible to say regarding their opinion, right?

          Well, in America these days, such is often not the case.  There are some places where the on-line debate is civil and respectful, even when the disagreement is severe.  This is unusual.  Many commenters simply take to their keyboard in an apparent effort to see how many *** they can put in between letters and still get the gist of the profanity out there. (One guy I saw was imaginative and used g2y for gay – wow – still not clear on how this got into a comment about Ann Coulter’s views on soccer, though).  Or, they refer to the author’s or other commenter’s sexual proclivities (as if those are known or matter).  Or they simply shout via CAPS, or make inane comments like “I think Ann Coulter is a dumb bimbo that whines about other peoples freedom.”  (I hate it when people forget the apostrophe – aarrgghh).  What does that last one mean, really?  I’m still not sure, even after reading it several times.

            Does the outrage about Ann Coulter’s column prove anything?  I don’t know since I didn’t read all of the outrage.  What I do know is this: regardless of how utterly absurd I believed her column to be (I already commented at Ann Coulter Knows Nil about Soccer), I also understand that she is simply writing an opinion.  As such, even though I disagree with her and still don’t find her funny, I think I’d rather have a conversation with her than Mr. “Ann is a bimbo.”

            Much of this commentary shows how poorly people think.  As a lawyer of many years, I always winced when another lawyer used significant amounts of profanity with me.  Partly this is because I long ago eschewed profanity since I didn’t think it represented Christ well.  Partly I have always wondered why such smart people, who make a living with words, couldn’t use more thoughtful language.  In any event, if lawyers, who are generally, at least in my experience, fairly intelligent, often use poor language, little wonder every day folks can’t seem to string together a couple of meaningful thoughts.  It’s just not in them.  Too much texting?  Too many bad movies?  Poor schools?  Careless parents?  All of the above?  I don’t know.

            I do know that I will defend Ann Coulter’s right to make her insipid opinions about soccer known throughout the land.  I do know that when people call her a bimbo, I’ll wince at the lackluster language skills exercised.  I do know that I’ll continue to be frustrated when people fail to use apostrophes, or fail to write complete thoughts, or use symbols as part of their writing in order to cover up their inadequate imaginations. 

            Ann Coulter is a provocateur.  She deserves whatever complaints she gets, but that’s all part of the game she is playing.  If you want to try to take her down, make your thoughts clear and understandable.  Write intelligibly.  Use logical arguments.  Offer pertinent examples.  Unfortunately, if the commentary I’ve seen is any indication, Ann Coulter may well have proved just how insanely ignorant many soccer fans really are.