Wednesday, August 22, 2018

The Horror Of Middle School Girls Acting Like Ladies


From the annals of overreaction, a Houston middle school took down the following quote from its hallway: “The more you act like a lady, the more he’ll act like a gentlemen.”  The hysterical inanity from feminist agitators is beyond ridiculous and pathetic – it’s downright evil.  Instead of seeing the quote for what it is, simple common sense, these pathological “do gooders” see it in the light most absolutely removed from common sense. 

Here’s the tweet from L. Beckman, who was at the school for teacher training (she posted a picture of the offending quote):

“This is the wall at Gregory-Lincoln Middle School in Houston ISD. It's perpetuating horrible gender stereotypes, shaming women, and relinquishing boys of all responsibility. It's sexist, mysogonistic, and discriminatory!”

So let’s tackle each of her claims one at a time.

1.         First, it doesn’t perpetuate any “gender stereotypes.”  Rather it points out the reality that if you want a certain reaction, you should consider your own behavior first.  There is a “golden rule” kind of vibe about this vote.  Treat others as you wish to be treated.  I guess I’m not clear what Ms. Beckman would have preferred.  How about, if you want to be treated like a lady, act like a prostitute?  Of course, in the minds of the Ms. Beckman’s of the world, women should be allowed to act however they want and men are supposed to just . . . do nothing?  It’s like the absurd reaction to school dress codes from Soraya Chemaly – apparently guys are supposed to never react to anything a woman does, including dressing provocatively, even though the very reason women dress provocatively is, well, to provoke a reaction.  See Post Harvey Weinstein: Do Feminists Owe Mike Pence an Apology.  If acting like ladies and gentlemen are “gender stereotypes” then count me in.  Why don’t we want our kids behaving that way?  By the way, I wonder what the middle school kids would tell us about what that quote meant?

2.         Exactly how is it “shaming women” to suggest they act like ladies?  I’m not following the logic at all.  So we want women to act like tramps, harlots (fill in your own word here _______)?
Is there some definitional problem that I don’t understand with the word lady?  The Dictionary.com definition suits me: a woman who is refined, polite and well-spoken.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  We just can’t have young middle school girls learning such shameful ideas.  What would happen if they all left middle school refined, polite and well-spoken?  Oh, the horrors that would entail.  Oh the human misery and suffering that would immediately occur.  Our whole society would almost certainly die an instantaneous death.

Apparently, though, according to our feminist friends, being a lady is, in fact, a terrible thing.  Women should be unrefined, impolite and poorly spoken, I guess.

3.         Nothing about this quote relinquishes boys from responsibility.  It merely points out to young women that they are likely to get different behavior from young men in light of their own behavior.  Are we suggesting our behavior has no impact on others?  If that is the case, then why does Ms. Beckman care?  Is she that worried that young women will act like ladies, but get no reciprocation?  It’s clear she just reacted and didn’t actually do a whole lot of thinking.  Moreover, it doesn’t absolve young men from acting gentlemanly and nothing about the logic of the quote conditions the actions of young men on the actions of young women.  There is no requirement that young ladies must do something first or take the lead.  It’s just something that makes sense.

4.         I guess sexism is in the eye of the beholder?  Let’s revisit Dictionary.com.  Sexism is:  attitudes or behavior based on traditional stereotypes of gender roles.  I suppose one could argue that behaving like ladies and gentlemen are “traditional stereotypes.”  That said, could our friend Ms. Beckman explain why it would be so horrible if our young men and women aspired to behave in lady-like and gentlemanly fashion?  She breezes past such notions as if there is nothing good about them.  In my simple mind, the idea of being a gentleman means I seek out the lady’s best in my actions and my words.  I consider her ahead of myself.  It doesn’t mean I think less of women; just the opposite.  I know, it’s disgusting of me to think in such an antiquated, vile, inhospitable manner towards women.

5.         The current favorite cliché – it’s similar to calling someone a Nazi – misogynist.  It’s an argument ender, a killer word that negates any possible retort once applied.  Oddly, though, back to my friends at Dictionary.com, I’m having a hard time actually seeing how this quote is misogynist.  Here’s the definition: a person who hates, dislikes, mistrusts, or mistreats women.  Note that a misogynist is a person – the quote in question is a statement – so by definition, it can’t be a misogynist.  More importantly, however, there doesn’t appear to be any hatred, dislike, mistrust or mistreatment of women in the quote.  One rarely makes suggestions to persons one hates or dislikes.  Certainly the quote doesn’t mistrust women; in fact, quite the opposite is true.  The quote presumes an ability on the part of women to engage in reasoned and rational aforethought in order to behave a certain way.  Finally, mistreatment generally suggests something hurtful – Ms. Beckman, of course, just assumes the quote is hurtful because . . . well, I’m not really sure why other than it doesn’t say something bad about males.  How does it actually harm anyone?

6.         The quote is only discriminatory if one can show it is “characterized by or showing prejudicial treatment.” (Thanks again to Dictionary.com).  I suppose since the quote doesn’t specifically say to boys “the more you act like gentlemen, the more she’ll act like a lady”  it is discriminatory?  Somehow, I think, even if that part were added it wouldn’t satisfy the Ms. Beckman’s of the world.  Exactly what prejudicial treatment is being foisted upon young women here?  See the arguments above.

It’s sad that so many people just automatically jumped on board the Twitter feed with agreement to this nonsense.  This appears to be more a matter of feelings than actual rational thinking. 
Fine, take the quote down.  I’m absolutely certain it ruined many a life at Gregory-Lincoln Middle School . . .
NOT.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

SBC Leaders: Help Me Understand Your Views on Racism


I originally posted this on August 15, 2018.  The Dallas Statement came out and I felt it best to take this down for a little while until some of the angst had faded.  I am now re-posting this in full.

This is much longer than I normally write, but I felt this needed a more lengthy discussion than usual.


I am going to write frankly about concerns I have about our understanding of racism as it relates to the Southern Baptist Convention.  I have attended Southern Baptist churches since 1978.  I was saved while attending a small Southern Baptist Church in 1981.  I have never been a member of any other kind of church.  My wife and I were married in a Southern Baptist church and both our sons were baptized in Southern Baptist churches.  I attend a Southern Baptist seminary.  One of my brothers in law was trained at a Southern Baptist seminary and is the pastor of a Southern Baptist church (with two nephews as associate pastors who both attend a   Southern Baptist seminary!).  One of my sisters spent years with the IMB in Mexico and is now married to pastor.  I could say more, but you get the point.  The roots run deep.  I don’t offer this as a suggestion that I know all things Southern Baptist, but only that I at least have some modest foundation upon which to make an argument.

I learned from a very early age that quality of character mattered but skin color did not because that is what my father taught his children.  He read widely and thoughtfully.  He thought about things deeply.  He had a “sense” about people that was often uncanny.  I never once remember him suggesting that I ever think less of someone or think more of someone based on their skin color.  Hard work and character mattered.  Treat others as you would like them to treat you.  This was how I grew up. 

Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength.  The second he said was like it: love your neighbor as yourself.  As Southern Baptists we are struggling right now, I think, to understand the second one.  I am wading into this fray deeply concerned that we’re veering off course by taking a more worldly stance rather than a biblical one.

 I’m trying to get the part of loving my neighbor which requires me to hang my head in guilt and shame for things I have not done.  I’m trying to get the part of loving my neighbor that calls upon me to feel uncomfortable in my own skin because of a genetic predisposition over which I had no control.  I’m trying to get the part of loving my neighbor which calls upon me to agree that the church is supposed to be in the business of changing societal structures.  This seems to be the tenor of recent discussions within the SBC, particularly among some leaders and important spokespersons.  Maybe I’m just misreading things or just misunderstanding what some SBC leaders seem to be saying.

I do understand the reality that merely by accident of my parents’ DNA I don’t face some obstacles that others face.  However, this doesn’t then logically compel me to conclude that this means by virtue of accident of birth I now somehow automatically live in a manner that is, ipso facto, harmful to other people.  That suggests my mere existence is an offense, regardless of my intentions, my conduct, or my character and regardless of my status with God through Christ.  The argument would go something like this:  just being white, itself, has landed you benefits you didn’t work for and the culture and system in which you live is rife with structures that harm others who aren’t white; therefore, you should repent because of this, whether you’ve acted on it or not, because regardless of what you think, you’ve somehow, in some way, at some time, under some circumstances, even if you don’t know it and are completely unaware of it, benefitted from this systemic bias.  What a peculiar argument for any Christian to make – you are white, so you need to repent, whether you’ve actually done any sinful act or not, just because of your whiteness.  I can’t and won’t believe anyone of good will within the SBC is actually arguing that merely being white is, in itself, somehow harming others or otherwise predisposing those who are white to racism, so I will move on.

The SBC has officially apologized for its part in slavery and the racial prejudice that followed the civil war, including SBC churches improperly and shamefully using the Bible as a means for engaging in racist acts against blacks in this country.  I think that is useful because it is a recognition of poor treatment of our neighbors in the past.  Yet, as I look back on my own life, there is no pattern of treating people poorly, there is no pattern of judgment against others because of skin color, there is no pattern of justifying racism, there is no pattern of offering the Bible as proof of any one ethnicity or skin color being superior to any another.  None.  Yet, the current climate in the SBC seems to be taking on the notion that somehow merely by virtue of my skin color I have done something wrong, even if only implicitly, and sometimes supposedly “unconsciously.”  In other words, if I am white, I just don’t know that I’ve done or thought bad things for which I must repent because of my whiteness – I’ve had it so good that I can’t even perceive how badly I’ve treated others, even when there’s no evidence to support the claim.  Many in SBC leadership positions seem to be leaning in this direction.  (I again say seem because I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth).

This is massively frustrating.  More importantly, though, what is the Biblical support for this kind of argumentation?  Just saying “racism is a gospel issue” doesn’t answer my question.  Yes, it’s a gospel issue in the sense that loving my neighbor means I need to present the gospel in a non-hypocritical, non-judgmental and non-racist way.  However, in the parable the man who showed mercy, who loved his neighbor, wasn’t wandering the back roads near Jericho looking for a soul to save.  He acted compassionately along the way.  He saw a need and met it without compunction.  He didn’t ask the beaten man any questions about who did this to him or why – the Good Samaritan acted by showing mercy to someone who needed mercy.  Being white doesn’t disqualify me from acting compassionately along the way, has not prevented me from doing so in the past and will not prevent me from doing so in the future.  Moreover, since we’re all equal at the foot of the cross in reference to our standing before God (Galatians 3:28), isn’t that further evidence that an overly zealous concern for ethnicity might actually take our eyes off the more important thing: the cross on which Jesus atoned for our sins?

The accident of birth being a privilege is true for me in some sense.  Being white in America is, on average, easier than being black.  That said, it is rare for anyone to be that “average” person.  There are some people with white skin in America who face struggles much greater than some who have black skin.  So, let’s be both clear and realistic; the accident of birth being a privilege cuts across the face of the planet.  By being born in the United States people automatically don’t face the same kinds of obstacles faced by people born in other significantly less developed or significantly less stable countries.  Here’s the catch:  whatever your skin color, if you are living in the United States you are noticeably better off than people living in Malawi or Syria or Venezuela.  Does merely living in the United States, in itself, harm people in Malawi, Syria or Venezuela? (NO).  Does it make you a “nationist”[1] who somehow is improperly privileged because you happened to be born in the United States? (NO).  Are you duty bound to repent of this privilege, then? (NO).  I trust anyone reading with an open mind understands the analogy here.

I am not arguing that it can’t sometimes be hard to be a black person in the United States.  Moreover, I’m not arguing that there aren’t attitudes that can creep into people’s thinking about race that cause them to make racist judgments about others based solely on skin color.  I’m certainly not saying any of this is a good thing.  I’m not claiming that isn’t important for us to all keep ourselves focused clearly on how and what we think and say and believe about others.  

I am saying that it is odd to argue some people make racist judgments about others based on skin color and those who do should repent and then argue that all white people are automatically guilty as charged.  Some of the talk in the SBC these days seems to be leaning this way – as if every white Southern Baptist is automatically guilty of something, regardless of the evidence and had better get to repenting now.   Isn’t it at least possible that some white people actually don’t make such racist judgments?  And if it is accurate to conclude at least some white people don’t do this, then wouldn’t arguing all are guilty be an incorrect judgment?  We have to stop impugning all white people as if they are a monolith of evil thoughts about their black brothers and sisters in Christ.  This simply isn’t true.  Some SBC leaders seem to be arguing this corporate guilt notion and are harming those who have never believed, talked or acted in such a manner.  Worse, it’s not biblical to demand that all must feel some kind of guilt and shame because of what other people have done.  I should feel guilt and shame for my sins, yes; for yours, no.

Note, too, the Samaritan in the parable acted without giving any thought to his and the beaten man’s social circumstances – he was more concerned about the immediate need for life giving sustenance.  Does it not smack of pharisaical rule-making to tell me that I need to spend time analyzing my “privilege” before I can be a good neighbor?  So, I guess if I want to help someone in physical, emotional or spiritual need I need to “check” my “privilege” at the door if their skin color is different than mine?  Need to get my head right first?  Need to repent of something, anything – just go ahead and admit that I’ve committed racialization or that I’ve been “racist adjacent” or some other current in vogue theory of just how bad I really am?

But what if I’m not doing those things?  What if I’m just trying to be a Christ-follower wherever I am, in whatever form that takes?  Must I repent because I am not specifically seeking out members of other races to come to my church?  Should I move my home to some other place because there are too many white people in my neighborhood?  Should I quit my job because there are too many white people at my office?  What if none of them are saved and I witness to them, does that matter? Am I required to constantly be thinking in racial terms about everything I do?  Where is the biblical mandate for me to treat people that way? 

What are you asking us to do SBC leadership?  I’m not clear because I don’t think you are, either. 

We’re getting vague platitudes and generalized statements about race relations being a “gospel” issue without much in the way of understanding why I need to drop everything and do something else.  Do the people around whom I live and work (who are mostly white and unsaved) not need the gospel?  Do I just abandon them because of their “white privilege?”  I’m not asking rhetorically, nor am I being sarcastic.  I really want answers from SBC leaders.

You see, I’m worried that we’re getting too caught up in trying to make “right” things we cannot and will not make right in this lifetime.  It’s not our job to right the wrongs of the past.  The Samaritan spent exactly NO time attempting to gain any kind of justice for his injured neighbor – he simply met the man’s need without thought of repayment.  He didn’t go back out and try to find the culprits, so he could explain to them the error of their ways.  He didn’t call out for governmental authorities to act.  He didn’t seek out leaders of the Sanhedrin or the Roman authorities to fix the “Jericho Road” bandit problem.  He didn’t even try to figure out whether anyone from the “church” had failed to minister to the man.  He did what he could, with his means, as he was going along.

It’s not our job to exact penance from those who have acted poorly (vengeance is mine says the Lord).  It’s our job to make disciples (Matt. 28:19).  Ought we not to be going about that job, and as we are going, engage in acts of compassion and evangelism to all regardless of their ethnicity?  Yet, we’re talking within the SBC about “needing” more racial representation, as if this will cure some ill.  That’s just politics talking and makes us look like we’re just another secular organization trying to look good for others.  Rather, should we not, each one of us, pray for strength to do what we are supposed to do within our sphere of influence?  The ripples from a small pebble can fill a large pond.  Isn’t that kinda the point of the SBC?  In cooperation with other churches we are able to make our collected pebbles create a tidal wave of evangelistic fervor. 

Southern Baptists should be rightly concerned that there are some within the convention who are not behaving like good neighbors.  But we cannot let this cause us to start talking like the world talks, which is what we are doing when start saying things like “we need more blacks in leadership positions.”  That kind of statement is, itself, a subtle form of racism which has no place in the church, as it implies skin color somehow matters for such purposes and, worse, implies a sort of noblesse oblige that suggests us “white folk” need to bring in some blacks for publicity purposes.  From what passages in the Bible does one conclude it matters what color the skin of the leaders is?  Again, I’m not asking rhetorically – I’m not aware of such passages, so I really want an answer.

I’ve seen arguments from people claiming that what I am saying is not just wrongheaded but immoral because we can’t wait for things to move organically.  Oh, really?  We can’t depend on God to move us?  We can’t depend on the strength of the God of the universe to fire our imaginations and our actions and to galvanize us?  In other words, if we don’t do something about racial stuff, then nothing will ever happen.  And we better do it now because, well, the SBC is shrinking and we’re not leaving the right legacy, and Revelation 7:9 for crying out loud!!!  Hmm.  God’s not sufficient, so we better help him along?

I’m not saying do nothing.  I am saying we’re not focused properly.

It appears we’re not focused on the cross; we’re not focused on the resurrection; we’re not focused on the final commandment Christ gave us (make disciples); rather, we’re focused on whether we need more people of different ethnicity to comprise the leadership and rank and file of the SBC.  It’s not that it’s inherently bad to want to see the SBC look more like the people in the United States – it is inherently bad to make that your goal because it’s too shallow and too limited and, frankly, unbiblical.

There are some who are suggesting the entire culture is infected with a systemic but often barely perceptible, or even imperceptible, racism.  Southern Baptists aren’t going to fix this by making a few appointments of blacks into positions of importance within the convention.  More importantly, the implication here is that white Southern Baptists are unknowingly participating in this system (I understand this sometimes goes by the term “racialization” and sometimes “unconscious racism”) and need to be awakened to it and repent of it.  The problem with this way of thinking is that it goes well beyond the SBC.  If our entire society suffers from this often-imperceptible malady how do we suppose the SBC is going to fix it?  Where, by the way, do we read in Scripture that our job as a church is to fix social problems?  I have always understood our primary focus is to make disciples.  Once we make disciples, does that not then have the possibility of changing the culture from the ground up?  Christianity was never intended to be a top down social movement, right?  Isn’t that the criticism so many of us more conservative types have of the “social” gospel started in the late 19th and early 20th century?

As we have been told repeatedly recently by various folks in the wake of the Paige Patterson matter, the SBC isn’t a church and therefore not bound by requirements found in the local church.  This led one suggestion the SBC nominate Beth Moore to be president.   So, the way we fix individual people’s hearts when it comes to issues they may have about women is to elect a woman as the President of the SBC?  What would this accomplish, really?  A similar argument could be made about racism within the SBC.  Dr. Fred Luter was president recently.  Did all racists within the SBC suddenly stop being racist?  No.

What should we do? 

First, we can’t have any kind of real discussion about race without starting at the beginning – with Adam and Eve – who were the first members of the only race that counts – the human kind.  From there, we can acknowledge that, yes, there are people who make judgments about others based solely on skin color and, yes, that is a pitifully pathetic means of thinking about others.  We must also, however, acknowledge there are people of good will whose skin color comes in all varieties and that such people long for as much harmony and unity as is possible “under the sun.”  We must understand that so long as God delays the return of Jesus, there will be inevitable misunderstandings and inevitable bad actors that will stand in the way of absolute racial harmony.  This doesn’t mean we don’t do anything; it does mean we recognize we can’t do everything.  Jesus told us, for instance, we’d always have the poor with us; he didn’t say this so that we would disregard the poor or make no effort to alleviate poverty.  This did, however, make clear that our priority must be something else.  We cannot make racial harmony our priority because that’s not the gospel message.  We can, however, determine, by the grace of God, seek to be the people of God, who are preaching the good news of the gospel, as Dr. Albert Mohler has said, “promiscuously” and who are discipling others and being disciplined Christ followers ourselves, regardless of race/ethnicity.

We are NEVER going to solve the problem of race relations on this earth, in this country, in our own states, in our own cities, or even in our own churches until Jesus returns.  People are sinners and sinners do sinful things, like treat people poorly based solely on the color of their skin.  Some, even people who are sitting in pews in our churches, will never change their hearts and minds because God has given them over to their sinful desires – which sometimes includes the desire to be a racist.  What we can and should do is focus on treating our neighbor as we would like to be treated – loving our neighbor as ourselves – following the example of the Good Samaritan and showing compassion for others along the way of life.  We should reach out with the good news both in season and out of season, for this is, we believe, the best possible thing we can do for anyone, whatever their skin color may be.  As we make disciples, we will see people’s hearts and minds changed.  Isn’t that the means by which God works to change us?  Or have all the classes and books at seminary misled me?

So, SBC leaders, please help me figure this out.  Are you prescribing window dressing so you can make yourselves feel better or do you really want to see true change?  If you really want to see true change, why aren’t we simply talking about being good neighbors, spreading the gospel, making disciples and leaving the results to God?  Or am I just too racist adjacent to see how terribly misguided I am?

I really want to know.


[1] So far as I know, I’m the first to use the term “nationist” in this way, as a parallel to racist.